Eight and a half Heresies

A devotional in eight-and-a-half heresies

I. In the Beginning Was the Graph

And the graph was with Growth,
And the Growth was God.
The economists baptized the invisible hand
In the name of Friedman, the Fed, and the Quarterly Return.
And lo, they called it Science,
Though it reeked of incense and hedge funds.

II. The Miracle of Multiplication

Like loaves and fishes, they said,
Growth shall be infinite.
But the oceans boiled,
And the forests turned to spreadsheets.
And still the market cried, More.

III. The Gospel of Quantification

What cannot be measured
Cannot be funded.
What cannot be funded
Cannot be real.
Thus love is worthless,
Air is undervalued,
And grief doesn’t scale.

IV. Blessed Are the Myopic

For theirs is the kingdom of now.

V. The Doctrine of Externalities

The smoke from the factory is not a sin,
But a cost for another to bear.
The poison in the river is not a transgression,
But a rounding error in the quarterly report.
For every debt must be paid,
Just not by us.

VI. The Infallibility of the Market

The Market has spoken, the pundits chant.
It has judged the weak and found them wanting.
It has rewarded the strong and given them more.
Do not question its movements,
For its ways are mysterious and its algorithm is just.

VII. Salvation Through Disruption

Sin not, they said, lest ye be inefficient.
But if you must sin, innovate.
Build an app to solve the hunger you created.
Engineer a filter for the air you choked.
Sell salvation as a service, recurring monthly

VIII. The Promised Land of Retirement

Work, for the 401(k) awaits.
It is a paradise of golf courses and comfortable shoes.
Offer your body to the cubicle,
Your mind to the meeting,
And if the market is kind, you may enter its gates.

VIII.V The "Half Heresy"

This entire devotional
is subject to market volatility.
Past performance
is not indicative of future results.